I guess I have been at this Internet dating thing for over a year so it had to happen sooner or later. As I mentioned in my last post I actually found a lady who was willing to meet me - I was going to say “in the flesh” but it was really in a local coffee shop and everyone was fully clothed.  This was kind of a strange one because we had only chatted for about an hour last Saturday (7/18) night and had agreed to meet for coffee at one on Sunday. We had got to “talking” because she had “winked” at me on the dating site OKCupid.com. I was a little leary due to the fact that she had just joined the “community” the day before. But, to my surprise she actually showed up!

Well now, in accordance with the rules I layed down at the start of this blog, I am not going to tell you about her or trash her in any way. She is a very nice lady and we had a nice conversation over an hour or so. There was no “click” or “spark” that encouraged me to pursue the relationship further and I am confident that she feels the same way. I feel lucky to have found a new friend.

That being said I did learn a thing or two about meeting people in person that I have met on an online dating site. The first is to study the picture(s) provided closely before committing to a meeting. If I were more of a fashion buff I would have been able to tell that the styles being worn by the people pictured around my new lady friend were a tad old. After the meeting I would have to say that the photo was four or five years old. A lot can happen in that span of time. It is really best, in terms of establishing an honest relationship from the start, that the photo you post on any Internet dating site be as current as possible. I also learned not to let a first impression be a deal breaker. This is not to suggest that when I first laid eyes on her that I wanted to run, screaming, out of the room but I was afraid that the conversation may be a bit stilted. It was not.

If I got anything from this experience (besides a new friend) I would have to say that I have gained some confidence. I guess I was fortunate to have a relatively good first meeting but, then again, I didn’t gain one of those memorable stories of dating disaster that I could use at parties for years to come. Like I go to parties.
jd

I return to writing about Internet Dating after a longer than expected pause. As I discussed in earlier posts, I have been in the process of moving to a new residence – a process that has throughly occupied my energy and attention for the last month and a half. If any of my readers are interested, I did end up purchasing a used mobile home and am very close to having found a place in it for [most of] my belongings. Everyone, welcome to my new home.

Though I have not been writing about Internet Dating, I have continued to maintain my online presence and have been in contact with a few ladies. In fact, for the first time in my Internet Dating career, I actually met with a real live woman last Sunday. We met on my favorite online dating site, OKCupid.com on Saturday – she actually “winked” at me, chatted for about an hour, and decided to meet at an agreed upon location the following day. We had a nice conversation and a good cup of coffee but I have to admit that there weren’t any sparks flying around the room. I think she would agree with that statement. I did write her a “thanks for meeting me” email mostly because I was brought up right.

So, I’m back. Boy, am I back.

jd

Technorati Tags: Internet Dating, online dating, dating sites                                                 

The Internet dating quest continues. I am starting to realize that there is no “one best online dating site” to be found. Consequently you find yourself signing up at an Internet dating site and “working it” until you have exhausted all the acceptable possibilities (Yes, I am discovering exactly how shallow I really am) or hitting the brick wall (i.e. you must cough up some cash if you want to “communicate” at all). When activity (if any) subsides you are on your way to the next dating site like any itinerant farm worker would.

My latest “work site” is  Matchmaker.com. This dating site is one of those sub-sites of a larger brand. I have learned that many Internet dating sites sell would be matchmakers access to their “catalog” of dating profiles and (probably) their software which they allow their customer to “re-brand” with a new name. It looks like Matchmaker.com is an affiliate of Date.com. I haven’t signed up with the main dating site Date.com yet (though it is only a matter of time) but I am interested in seeing if I am presented with the same line-up of perfect matches when I do.

I’ll keep you posted.
jd

Technorati Tags: online dating, online dating sites, dating sites, Internet dating

I’m still navigating (badly) the hazards of Internet dating. I’ve discussed it before so you’d think I’d listen.

For a number of weeks I had been corresponding with a lady I “met” on the dating web site OKCupid.com. Our online dating profiles were very similar - both of us liberal, open minded souls. I have to admit that the exchanges were getting boringly mundane with each hoping the other had had a nice week and all that. So I decided to ratchet the “relationship” up a bit and discuss what has been on my mind lately. I was really surprised by the response that I “received”.

As a quick background I’ll explain that my life has been approaching one of those points where a big decision must be made. In this particular case it involves my living arrangements. There are three major issues that are all pushing me in different directions. At the center of it all is the fact that the lease on my apartment terminates on May 31st. It simply burns my buttons that I have dropped 13k in rent over the last eighteen months and have nothing but a dry behind to show for it. I just don’t want to rent any more. The logical option is, of course, to buy a small house, townhouse, or condo. Considering the fact that the economy is collapsing on itself - you’ll probably understand my reticence to purchase right now. I know it is supposed to be a “great time” to buy but I think that is only true if you plan to live in the house for at least 5 or more years. I may stay that long but I just don’t know because I would really like to head West to Colorado or Wyoming. Enter my youngest son who is graduating from high school in early June and will be heading off to college in the fall. Consequently I feel that I should hang around Pittsburgh for a year or so to make sure he gets off to a good start in school. There’s that and the fact that I have a job here and not out West. So I have been trying to find some middle ground between buying and renting that can work as a short term solution. Emphasis here is on short term.

Well, I attempted to share these issues with my pen pal, though I didn’t go into quite as much detail. What I did was I mentioned that my lease was running out and I was looking to change my address. I asked her if she knew
anyone who had a cheap place to rent and I mentioned that I was considering (here comes my short term solution) buying a trailer. Given all that I have explained to you (but not to her) I think that a used manufactured home on a rented lot really fills the bill for me. I guess I’ll never know exactly how she felt about my plan because she hasn’t written back.

jd

Technorati Tags: Internet dating, online profiles, relationslhips

Continuing with my analysis of dating site PerfectMatch.com’s analysis of me - we come to the Complementary Test. Again - the names of these tests are a bit mysterious.

Your Complementary Test Results - SCTI 

Structured, Compromiser, Temperate, Introvert

You have strong opinions and you like things “just so”. Still, your personality is modified by the fact you are willing to let someone else take the lead. You tend to be the person in the relationship that lets the other person dominate a large number of decisions. Most of the time, that doesn’t bother you. You are more likely to have many private thoughts about what is going on in the relationship (or your life) before sharing your thoughts with a partner. This has some very good aspects to it. You are unlikely to erupt impetuously and cause arguments that way. On the other hand, you will often come to your opinions and conclusions by yourself, rather than through mutual discussion. This can be alienating to an extrovert. You might want someone who is like yourself and understands this. On the other hand, without an extrovert, things may stay bottled up and become big problems that could have been handled easier, earlier.

I am not as impressed with this result. I would not say that I am “willing” to let someone else take the lead. I might begrudgingly allow it but, thus far, my partners have not dominated even half of the decisions. True I don’t erupt and start yelling and screaming - but I am likely to engage in discussion on important points surrounding my relationship and I will compromise to a better position if one is presented. Maybe I should take this test again.
jd

Technorati Tags: perfect match, internet dating, internet dating sites, online dating, dating site personality analysis

Chat dating is not new, it has evolved over the time and has been around for many years. Part of the internet landscape are chat rooms which prior to the progress of internet, features an enhanced dating experience of couples from a multitude of dating websitesI

There are many chat dating sites in a chat room, chat dating takes place in real time while people converse with each other. Other people can give you an immediate response where your comment will appear as soon as you type it and press the enter button. Some even takes advantage of the full use they can have using webcam chat dating and successfully it has solved some problems with communication encountered  with dating online. You can have a listed view of chat dating participants on the side of the chatroom with their nicknames and you can directly just click on their names to be able to converse with that person. You can access features such as “whisper’ for private messaging options or use voice and video chats to enhance your chat dating experience. There are many chatrooms available online for a specific group of interests.

But first, know the standards a chatroom should maintain to have a fabulous chat dating experience.

For singles who wants to start dating online, you may follow these 5 easy tips for successful chat dating:

Keep it Private. Your username says a lot about your personalty and you are asked to create a username, and it’s best if you remain as discreet as possible by evealing only few details about yourself. This name will be the name you’ll be using when you engage in chat dating with another person. Until you’ve gathered enough information from your date, that would be the best time to reveal any kind of personal information.

Don’t type in all capital letters or use fonts and colors that are hard to read. Typing in this way can be misunderstood for shouting and you might even meet people who are annoyed to this. Generally, it is considered rude and unpleasant. Try to avoid using bright colors as this will make the words you type hard to read.

Be friendly especially when there is someone from the chat dating room enters. It’s a way to make yourself known to other people and it’s you next big step to enter the chatroom without being shy.

Don’t initiate cybersex in chatrooms unless it’s a room designated for cybersex. This is not a good idea, as you might be going against the site’s policy. In return, they might suspend your account once they’ve found you out using chats for sex. Don’t also opt for sex because dating is a decision

Last but not the least, just be yourself. You need not to invent some personality who isn’t really you, after all, pretending someone who isn’t your true self is more than a liar. You know that this isn’t you, and it could be a really uncomfortable experience to guise yourself as another person. This will later on destroy you once you’ve chatted with someone you already like.

More and more singles are using chatrooms, but most of them are females who are greatly influenced by online dating. Try up for a chatrrom website now for singles and start dating online!

I’ve mentioned before that I can’t understand why people put themselves through the agony of the Internet Dating experience. I’m not sure why I asked such a general question - what I really can’t figure out is why I put myself through the agony of the Internet Dating experience. I mean my divorce was just finalized in July (’08) - what’s my hurry? I can come and go as I please. I eat what I want when I want it (I have discovered that Klondike Bars make a terrific breakfast). I really am not lacking in anyone to talk to since I recently found myself chatting up my sofa. If I want a little affection I just head out to the local diner (I’ve reached that age where all the waitresses call me “Honey”).

Rummaging through all these online dating sites ain’t cheap, either. Fifty bucks here, forty five bucks there, hell, I might as well be married to Match.com I give them so much money. Wish I could figure this one out.

jd

 Technorati Tags: internet dating, internet dating sites, online dating, online dating sites, relationships

When I’m not working on a web site or waiting (futilely) for a return email from a lady I ran across
on an Internet dating site, I like to think about profound things. I don’t like to brag but sometimes
I can get a pretty heady collection of thoughts assembled and moving in the same direction. Usually
these “Thought Fests” are the result of frustration. My most recent session came as I was pondering
why I was even trying to meet someone on an online dating site. What good could ever come of it I
asked myself. Why, I wondered, do people put themselves through this type of agony? Of course, I never
came up with a good answer for that one but, along the way, it occurred to me that this Internet
dating thing could end up improving the entire Human Species!

What I realized was that in the days before Internet dating it was pretty hard for people to meet
someone outside of their immediate community. Most people back then were born, educated, employed, and
boxed up for burial probably within a 50 mile radius of their birth site. The person they met and
married and had kids with was from the same community as well. Over a long period of time, it seems to
me, this process would start to take its toll on the old gene pool. But nowadays you can meet someone
that you really hit it off with who lives hundreds or even thousands of miles away from your
community. If things should work out and you end up getting together and having children with that
person you introduce a new gene strain into whichever community you both chose to live in. This
process couldn’t help but strengthen the local brand!

The only problem with this theory is that, to be successful, someone has to answer an email!

jd

Technorati Tags: online dating, internet dating, relationships

Three out of four of the Internet Dating sites I’ve joined up with have used questions with multiple choice answers as determiners of my personality. I have to say that I struggle with selecting an appropriate choice because the answer I really want is not in the selection list.
Here is an example from OKCupid.com:

You’re in a relationship/marriage and feel that you and your mate aren’t having sex frequently enough. What do you do?

    * Talk to them about it
    * Try to spice things up. (Toys, fantasies, etc)
    * Do nothing, but hope things change naturally.
    * Cheat on them / Break up with them.

None of the four choices do it for me. I’d have liked to see a fifth choice:

    * Buy a bottle of Jose Cuervo.

You know - candy is dandy but liquor is quicker!

Here is another example:

Is a person who has had 100 sexual partners a bad person?

    * Yes.
    * No.
    * I don’t know.

In this case I found the answer choices adequate but the question simply didn’t have enough information to really judge the situation. It seems to me that there is a time element that must be considered. A person who is 90+ years old could arrive at this number and still be considered “good”. On the other hand an 18 year old girl on a Spring break weekend………

jd

Technorati Tags: Internet Dating, Online matchmaking, online dating site, internet dating site

Just for fun I took the “Death Test” at OKCupid.com. Looks Like I have around 21 years to hook up with someone!

jd

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