In a recent visit to CNN.com I bumbled upon an article about Internet dating sites that cater to (let’s not call them cheaters) attached individuals looking for some extra curricular activity. The politically correct term for this is Internet Married Dating.  Strangely I found this rather intriguing. The featured Internet Dating site was a site called AshleyMadison.com. After reading the entire article I was so disgusted that I did what I am sure many other outraged readers did - I immediately went to AshleyMadison.com and signed up.

The folks at AshleyMadison.com present themselves as an online dating agency. As I have discussed in an earlier IdleRomance post, an agency (a real agency) provides a much broader range of services than the standard, run-of-the-mill, Internet dating site. After looking things over I can safely tell you that AshleyMadison.com is not an agency. They are an online dating site plain and simple with a bit of twist on the pricing. I say this because unlike other Internet dating sites like Match.com and eHarmony.com, AshleyMadison.com does not go in for the subscription price model. Instead they have you purchase credits which can then be used to contact other members via site email or chat. I know that doesn’t sound that different but it is in two ways. The first thing is that you only pay so many credits for the first email you send to another member. Once communication is established there are no more charges for email to that member. The second difference comes in how they handle chat pricing. Chat is priced by the half hour session and there is no break for chatting with someone you have chatted with before.

Another way that AshleyMadison.com is different from other  Internet Dating sites is in the amount of information you are asked to put in your online dating profile. They really don’t seem to expect you to write a whole lot. They cut right to the chase with nine basic details: a screen nickname, a brief caption which appears on screen under your screen nickname, a statement of your limits (more on this later), weight, height, body type, ethnic background, smoking habits, and (the all important) relationship status. Most of these are self explanatory but two are kind of interesting. In terms of your limits you are basically stating to others browsing your dating profile what it is that you are looking for. You can pick between long or short term involvement or you can go all in with an “anything goes” stance. You can be undecided or limit your “relationships” to “Cyber Affairs and Erotic Chat”. The other thing that struck me was the choices offered in the relationship status category. For males your choices are Single Male seeking Females, Attached Male seeking Females, and Male seeking Males. I guess in the Male seeking Males category it really isn’t important if you are Single or Attached.

I am sure I’ll be posting more about this site in the near future.
jd

I guess I have been at this Internet dating thing for over a year so it had to happen sooner or later. As I mentioned in my last post I actually found a lady who was willing to meet me - I was going to say “in the flesh” but it was really in a local coffee shop and everyone was fully clothed.  This was kind of a strange one because we had only chatted for about an hour last Saturday (7/18) night and had agreed to meet for coffee at one on Sunday. We had got to “talking” because she had “winked” at me on the dating site OKCupid.com. I was a little leary due to the fact that she had just joined the “community” the day before. But, to my surprise she actually showed up!

Well now, in accordance with the rules I layed down at the start of this blog, I am not going to tell you about her or trash her in any way. She is a very nice lady and we had a nice conversation over an hour or so. There was no “click” or “spark” that encouraged me to pursue the relationship further and I am confident that she feels the same way. I feel lucky to have found a new friend.

That being said I did learn a thing or two about meeting people in person that I have met on an online dating site. The first is to study the picture(s) provided closely before committing to a meeting. If I were more of a fashion buff I would have been able to tell that the styles being worn by the people pictured around my new lady friend were a tad old. After the meeting I would have to say that the photo was four or five years old. A lot can happen in that span of time. It is really best, in terms of establishing an honest relationship from the start, that the photo you post on any Internet dating site be as current as possible. I also learned not to let a first impression be a deal breaker. This is not to suggest that when I first laid eyes on her that I wanted to run, screaming, out of the room but I was afraid that the conversation may be a bit stilted. It was not.

If I got anything from this experience (besides a new friend) I would have to say that I have gained some confidence. I guess I was fortunate to have a relatively good first meeting but, then again, I didn’t gain one of those memorable stories of dating disaster that I could use at parties for years to come. Like I go to parties.
jd

Once again I’m considering sprucing up my online dating profile on a couple of the Internet dating sites that I frequent. I’ve already covered the divorce thing here and I have decided to continue to leave that out of my base profile. Still it is hard to know what you really should include. I’ve been thinking about bringing up a bit of my medical history in that shortly after the arrival of my second child I paid a little visit to the doctor for some alterations. Don’t know if the ladies would be interested in this information or not. Seems like it might be hard to naturally work into an internet dating profile - I was thinking about the following headline:

jd

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